Poem- In Mind

I wrote this poem in March 2013 to describe feelings about being different and to capture the complexities of the mind

 

"In Mind" By Melanie Jay Narayanasamy

 

The cogs always ran a little differently, a little distinct

Sometimes faster, sometimes slower, maybe sometimes they stalled

But somehow they were never really in sync

With the rest of them, though this remained untold

 

Tick tock, tick tick tick tock and tock tock ticks

No rules as such, no order to which they subscribed

I found a routine programmed to bring about the quick fix

To settle the rising of the agonising vibes

 

And sometimes one found a little respite from the normalised chaos

What one would call “temporary peace”

A harmonised clearance spreading across

A time to let the forehead lines un-crease

 

But somehow the cogs manage to intrude

Restless and needing to interfere and harass

Distorted ticking and tocking away the mood

Making sure that they were having a blast

 

One thought niggling within the mind becomes embedded

And then it seems to grow and disperse

Before long, the sharpest of certainties are shredded

And you’re left with a mind un-nursed

 

And the cogs welcome these newcomers to the ritual

They welcome them with thanks

It is an invitation most cruel

To allow them to partake in the everyday angst

 

Then what you worried about before is made redundant

Stacked somewhere under a bigger worry

And you wonder how that one was ever pungent,

When this one has created quite a slurry

 

A closed mouth cordons off this hazard

For it is not spoken about, not in this life humdrum

And though keeping up appearances can leave you shattered

It is all you can do as the standard tick tocks around you come

 

The paradox of outer melody and internal shrieks

Both in the same room, co-existing, tormenting the conditions

And the bitter droplets of anguish do eventually leak

From a mind wholeheartedly hoping that someone will listen

 

© Melanie Jay Narayanasamy 2013